If you are abusing your wife or another family member
ENSURE THEIR SAFETY
DOMESTIC ABUSE REQUIRES CONFESSION & REPENTANCE
REALISE YOU NEED HELP
ENSURE THEIR SAFETY
Habits: domestic abuse often becomes a habit. Like other habits, even when we think we want to stop it is not always within our abilities, and sometimes we need special help to stop. Do not assume that you will be able to stop abusive behaviours even though you want to. You should stay well away from the person you have abused, their children and their friends if that is what they ask. You should willingly move out of the family home if that is what they need.
Insight: many people who abuse their partner or family do not recognise the effects of their abuse on their loved ones. Their behaviours often badly affect the mental well-being and self-confidence of their loved ones. Do not assume that you know how your partner or other family member is feeling. Do not try to contact them unless they contact you.
Understanding: domestic abuse is not simply about physical violence or anger or shouting. It is often a behaviour of manipulation and control where power is inappropriately used to oppress another person in many ways, often subtle. Do not assume that you understand the extent of your behaviours. Do not assume that your friends can give unbiased or realistic assessment of your issues.
Get help from professionals and brothers and sisters experienced in domestic violence cases.
Professionals can help with thinking problems that usually underlie abuse behaviours and with understanding the impact of your behaviours on others.
Spiritual counsellors can help you evaluate your life in Christ and with understanding the impact of your behaviours on your relationship with our Heavenly Father.
Having both professional and spiritual counsellors will help you assess your progress and resolve the issues you are likely to find along the way.
Humans easily judge after the sight of their eyes and we need to protect against this. Getting help from people who are not biased by a long friendship or respect for you is important if you truly wish to correct your ways in the eyes of the Father.
Good spiritual counsellors can help you restore your relationship with the Father, earning your wife and family's forgiveness and eventually, by God's Grace, earning their trust and rebuilding a Godly marriage.
The Christadelphian Support Groups listed on this page are a good place to start - find one near you, and even reach out to one that is further away if need be and see how they can help.
Contact us: we are willing to discuss your situation on the telephone and work with you to find good help from within your own network or community.