I guess all couples do have problems, but this “truth” neglects to mention that domestic abuse is not just another marriage problem. If we ask that question not only are we suggesting that there is something ‘normal’ about domestic abuse - there is not; not only are we suggesting it is the marriage that has the problem - it does not; but we are minimising the horror and trauma of domestic violence and in this we perpetuate a grave injustice. Let’s discuss those aspects. Domes

One of the common themes of domestic violence is that the power and control ‘plays’ of the abuser are built on a false claim - that the victim deserves the abuse, or that the victim does something to cause the abuse. The victim may well do things that trigger the abuse, but a careful evaluation of the situation can help us clarify the usual situation - repeated, habituated and cyclic abuse is a choice of the abuser who is looking for, or even manipulates events to create situ