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What is domestic abuse: men can be victims too

Feb 7, 2017
5 min

What is domestic abuse: men can be victims too

The Hear Believe Act Project is about encouraging and exhorting us all to open up the discussion of domestic abuse in the Christadelphian community. The focus is on domestic abuse that is shown in the persistent abuse power and the use of unacceptable methods to control and coerce another. This can happen in all sorts of family and intimate relationships. We have no precise data about Christadelphian relationships - we do mostly hear about abuse of husbands toward their wives

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What not to say: "But all marriages have problems"

Feb 2, 2017
5 min

What not to say: "But all marriages have problems"

I guess all couples do have problems, but this “truth” neglects to mention that domestic abuse is not just another marriage problem. If we ask that question not only are we suggesting that there is something ‘normal’ about domestic abuse - there is not; not only are we suggesting it is the marriage that has the problem - it does not; but we are minimising the horror and trauma of domestic violence and in this we perpetuate a grave injustice. Let’s discuss those aspects. Domes

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What not to say: "What did you do to cause it?"

Feb 1, 2017
3 min

What not to say: "What did you do to cause it?"

One of the common themes of domestic violence is that the power and control ‘plays’ of the abuser are built on a false claim - that the victim deserves the abuse, or that the victim does something to cause the abuse. The victim may well do things that trigger the abuse, but a careful evaluation of the situation can help us clarify the usual situation - repeated, habituated and cyclic abuse is a choice of the abuser who is looking for, or even manipulates events to create situ

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What not to say: "I understand how you feel"

Jan 31, 2017
4 min

What not to say: "I understand how you feel"

Survivors and victims of domestic abuse constantly tell the Hear Believe Act Project how they feel. But we cannot presume to know how they feel, even if we might also be a survivor of domestic abuse. Although most cases have painfully familiar themes, every case of abuse has it's own specific idiosyncracies. They feel chained up - imprisoned. Sometimes in their own home. Sometimes in a relationship they know is toxic yet they cannot escape. In one case an abuser blocked their

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